has been sending me subtle little messages all week to remind me that
he really is on my side and doing his part to help me get healthy. For
example, yesterday I had a "stressful" day of driving and got lost. My son had been transferred to a different drug rehab in an area that my husband used to work in and I traveled all the time. That was 35 years ago however, and things have really changed in that part of the state. I ended up driving too far and was late. I used to drive all over the state and getting lost was part of the challenge sometimes and it didn't stress me out that much but having learned to slowly and methodically move through the day with minimal stress, it was a very different feeling for me again. So
what did I do to compensate? I stopped at McDonald's for lunch and got 2
small cheeseburgers and a fry. I only ate half the fries and couldn't
understand why I liked McDonald's food in the first place so I ended up throwing part of it away. I
felt horrible and sluggish the rest of the day. Yet I still went on my
walk and felt slow and couldn't breath well, but I did it.
I wondered last night, how was I going to ease back into working all day, coming home to make a healthy, well balanced, and nutritious meal (which I have come to enjoy doing at least 4 ~ 5 times a week now) ~ once I start working again? Will we resort to old habits of ordering fast food again because I am too mentally drained to think of what to have for dinner? To be very honest ~ I am scared of that possibility.
This morning I
made french toast. 3 pieces. I really felt guilty as I was slathering syrup
all over them thinking - I really should only have one piece but I don't want
to waste the egg...so apparently not guilty enough to stop and correct
my behavior. As I sat on the porch eating my really good french toast ~
I am half done and along comes a big wind and deposits little seeds all
over the french toast. Not taking the cue to stop eating, I try
picking the seeds out and another burst comes along bringing even more
seeds. Wow ~ that got my attention!
I need to continue to fight my battle of making healthy decisions about what I put into my body, understanding that sometimes it may not be the best choice, but I just can't eat as much of it. I am also aware of the fact that I will need to always have a plan A and a Plan B to fall back on when I go back to work and Plan B needs to include already decided menus of good healthy choices that are quick and easy to fix.
Thank you God for having my back and helping me get the message
that everything is good - in moderation.