Motivation

As you know I have not worked at a real job in over a year.  I am unemployed on sabbatical, and I have actually really enjoyed having the time to clean, read, and play.  It has been great knowing that I don't have to balance getting a project done with the responsibilities of employment. 

Now the realities are sinking in however, that I need to find a real job.  It's just time to get back out there. Volunteering does not pay the bills, and the meager stipends you get for reading grants are wonderful perks, but not consistent and certainly not enough to pay the bills. But it has helped a bit.

I have had the privilege of reviewing and scoring grants this summer.  I love doing this; it is interesting, I learn from others, and the little bit of money I am getting will be used for something I need but wouldn't have been able to buy.  Like new work clothes because I have lost enough weight now that my old clothes are too big.  But I must say, getting motivated to "work" in my home, where I have been cleaning, reading novels, and relaxing for the past several months, is much harder than I thought it would be. I keep seeing things that still need to be done!

I always worked from my home office for the last 20+ years.  I may have had another office somewhere but ultimately, between work, and attending college online, I spent a lot of time working from my home office. I had to learn to be disciplined enough to filter out the distractions and focus on the job I was doing.  I made it work very well ~ too well actually ~ which was why I needed to spend a year getting caught up with housework and household repairs.

Who I would rather be spending my time with

It really hit me this week, that while I am reading grants on my front porch or in my screened room in the back yard, my "vacation time" is slipping away, and I still have so much to do!!!  I love spending time with my granddaughter and the stress of wondering what my schedule will be like after I get a job is worrying me. I am feeling less motivated to work as the days pass.  I have found less time to blog, read, sort clutter (I still have half of the basement to clear out), and garden.  And forget watching cooking shows!! No time!

I must think back to when I worked at home and get into the habit of working in my office during certain hours and then closing the door when I am done.  I must rekindle that spark of motivation before July 17th or I will never get another chance to review grants for this agency again! And once I am done with this review period, I must focus on finishing that basement, and prepare the rooms that still need painting, so that when I finally get back to work, I will know that the projects I wanted to finish before going back to work are done and that I can pay to have the painting finished without rushing home to clean the rooms.

Now enough blogging ~ it's time to read and score more grants.