Friday, January 2, 2015

Welcome 2015!

Seriously? It has been 16 months since my last post? I knew it had been awhile, but sheesh!

So much has happened since then. I left off with the post about my son dying. I will post more about that in the days to come but I want to highlight the best part of 2013/2014. The momentous occasion that always seems to be "forgotten" in all the details of all the tragedy.

Well let me tell you. This little guy is not one to be forgotten. Meet Preston Elijah.
"Hey lady, what at YOU doing?"
Preston is almost 2 (in March) and was born just days before my Dad past away in 2013.  I spent so much time with Avery at this age but circumstances have been different with Preston. First, his Mommy decided to be a stay at home Mommy and start her hair business, traveling to customers homes when Daddy was home with the kids. While that can be a challenge at times, she loves it and I do get to spend time with them both, just not consistently like before. I guess I will survive. She enjoys spending so much time with the kids.

Second, if you remember, I was looking for a job. Enter "Judy's house of horrors adventures".  For several months after Dad died I "lived" at my Mom's, tending to her physical and emotional needs, downsizing and prepping their home for sale, and moving her north to Minnesota. Being so far away from the grand kids killed me. I had a glimpse once again of what it would be like to work full time and I was not impressed. Mom also felt bad so she suggested I work for her. I must admit, that helped a lot by taking the pressure of finding a job off and it allowed me the flexibility to do contract work for the government.

Third, Zack died and that sent me into a tailspin of moving full steam ahead without stopping to think about grief. I operated like that for several months. The weeks leading up to the one year anniversary left me feeling unsettled in a way I cannot explain. To make it worse, our oldest son went off the deep end and landed himself in jail. He is still there.

Also in 2014 my brother was diagnosed with cancer, had surgery, radiation, chemotherapy and is heading back in for more surgery. But so far the tests are good. We have our fingers crossed.

Christmas 2014 was just weird. Fall of 2014 this year brought depression, but in the midst of all of that was joy. And it looked like this:

My middle son Nathan and his family
How can I be sad? 2015 will be a good year. Mom is moving back home. Minnesota is too cold and too far away from her friends. We didn't bother to remind her that it was HER idea to move there in the first place.

I will write more in 2015. I will sell more Avon and I will receive more contracts. I might even find a job with benefits. But until then, GrammaGaga will continue to stalk Nathan's family and count her blessings.

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