It's here! 2016 is here and it is time for renewed energy and focus. I spent the last several months sick. I am tired of being sick. My husband is rehabbing his knee after a total knee replacement and having a hard time. As a result, I have made a decision to finally suck it up and get busy. It's time to work on my health again.
2012 was a great year. Reflecting on that, I realized it was because during 2012 I was recovering from the stress of working 60+ hours a week, rehabbing my knee which involved walking and exercising every day, eating healthy, training for my first 5K walk, and writing. Every day. I blogged, I journaled, and I write articles for publications. I gardened seriously. I cooked. I spent a lot of time with my granddaughter playing and having fun, viewing life through the eyes of a three year old.
I want to get back to that lifestyle. My Dad and sons would be very disappointed to learn that I was grazing my way through grief. I had lost 30 pounds training for the 5K!!! I have gained 20 of it back. :(
So today, I started my new "diet". I am feeding my body healthy foods, following the principles of the Mediterranean diet. I am taking supplements to nourish my cells. I cleared all the crap out of the pantry and have been turning down everyones leftover Christmas cookies. I dusted off the stability ball and the treadmill. I am motivated.
So motivated I have accepted a 10K Challenge. My goal is 10,000 steps per day. I also accepted a 2016 Challenge that will have me walking 2016 MILES this year. I know that is doable because that is just under 6 miles per day. 10,000 steps is about 5 miles right there. While weightloss is inevitable with that plan, I am really doing this because I am tired of feeling crappy.
Those are my goals. I am stating them publicly so that I can be accountable to someone. Along the way, I will post my progress here. Maybe I will motivate other people to join my team!
Happy New Year!
Saturday, January 2, 2016
Wednesday, December 30, 2015
Another year comes to an end
The last time I posted here was in February 2015. I was still grieving my youngest son's death as well as that of my father. I wrote about being in a rut, losing my ambition, beginning a new chapter as a virtual assistant. Little did I know then that my life was once again about to come to a screeching halt.
At that time, my oldest son was incarerated in the county jail awaiting trial for domestic violence. That alone was bad enough because ANYONE who knew Nik - REALLY knew him and his heart - would have never believed it. but his life since his Grandpa and baby brother died, had been a roller coaster of emotions and turmoil. His drinking was out of control and one week before the anniversary of Zachary's death, he used cocaine after drinking heavily. That night forever changed his life.
February brought a tailspin of emotions. He came home, spent a week doing projects around our house, and ended up in the hospital with a virus. He spent 5 days in intensive care and ended up on dialysis to lower his muscle enzymes due to rhabdomylosis caused from falling and laying too long in one spot. Nik came home and slept for 2 months. His energy level was never the same. He was crabby and sullen and barely smiled. He started back to work early April and we thought that would help his mood, and it did a little. He loved working! But it was not to last.
On April 23, Zachary's birthday, Nik set up a shrine in the basement, honoring his little brother. Then he injected himself with heroin. We will never know if this was intentional or if he was just so low he decided to start using again. This is the same guy who overdosed many times throughout his 20's. He had not used heroin for 8 years. Apparently this was enough to kill him.
All through 2015 I have been on the roller coaster of emotions they call grief. I have good days and bad days. The good days are spent rmembering all the good memories. Then I feel angry at the loss of creative spirits with big hearts. On the bad days I blame myself. I ask myself why this happened to our family. Then I remember all the people I still have in my life. Those people get me through the dark times.
As 2015 finally comes to an end, I can honestly say I am looking forward to 2016.
At that time, my oldest son was incarerated in the county jail awaiting trial for domestic violence. That alone was bad enough because ANYONE who knew Nik - REALLY knew him and his heart - would have never believed it. but his life since his Grandpa and baby brother died, had been a roller coaster of emotions and turmoil. His drinking was out of control and one week before the anniversary of Zachary's death, he used cocaine after drinking heavily. That night forever changed his life.
February brought a tailspin of emotions. He came home, spent a week doing projects around our house, and ended up in the hospital with a virus. He spent 5 days in intensive care and ended up on dialysis to lower his muscle enzymes due to rhabdomylosis caused from falling and laying too long in one spot. Nik came home and slept for 2 months. His energy level was never the same. He was crabby and sullen and barely smiled. He started back to work early April and we thought that would help his mood, and it did a little. He loved working! But it was not to last.
On April 23, Zachary's birthday, Nik set up a shrine in the basement, honoring his little brother. Then he injected himself with heroin. We will never know if this was intentional or if he was just so low he decided to start using again. This is the same guy who overdosed many times throughout his 20's. He had not used heroin for 8 years. Apparently this was enough to kill him.
All through 2015 I have been on the roller coaster of emotions they call grief. I have good days and bad days. The good days are spent rmembering all the good memories. Then I feel angry at the loss of creative spirits with big hearts. On the bad days I blame myself. I ask myself why this happened to our family. Then I remember all the people I still have in my life. Those people get me through the dark times.
As 2015 finally comes to an end, I can honestly say I am looking forward to 2016.
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